(Intern Blog Series) A Prepared Healing: Day 1 of Breaking the Silence Summer Camp

By: TruLe'sia Zhane'

Over 1, 392 miles. Two time zones. Five modes of transportation—car, plane, bus, taxi, and train (then another taxi cab). Twenty-four hours with my eyes opened wide in anticipation. I made it here. If I said that I was excited for this experience, that would be making an understatement.

In May, at the conclusion of my undergraduate career, I didn’t exactly know what I wanted to commit to next or where I wanted to be. Due to all the stress that attached itself to me at the end of this critical chapter, I connected with one of my sisters in the movement. Asking her about self care and how she did it because I needed some! She connected me with the AAPF along with some other resources and opportunities to prepare for this next adventure in life.

I researched different avenues. I read blogs of successful women of color who had triumphed the uncertainty. And I even, I applied for internships. What I found was that there were many places I could go, but those successful women said “no matter where you venture follow your heart & passion!” I found the perfect internship! Then, I remembered a dope article where the woman of God said in order to validate her plan she gave it to God—so I prayed. God, if this thing is meant for me and will put me in the right direction for my life— will You pppppppppuuullllllleeeeeeeaaaaasssssse do miracles, signs, and wonders. But ok... If it’s not what you have for me, I will go home and get prepared for what is next. Amen. 

God’s plan was preparation. Day 1 of this divinely prepared summer camp took me to a place of readiness in myself that I never felt before. Like a gardener going out to her field to just put her hand in the soil before doing anything. The morning dance & meditation was the first time in a few years that I had danced consciously or even with a group of folks not feeling ashamed. I had the unction to put my whole self on the front row because there I could be in a space where I wouldn’t have to judge my movement against anyone else’s. I felt free in my own being that I hadn’t recognized in a long time. 

As the day continued, the activities and conversations brought the traumas, hurts, pains, and anxieties of my life into the part of my throat where I could feel it getting ready to expel. Sharing stories, clasped hands, deep hugs, and truth have captured me in this moment. It hit me after such an amazing day, that this camp—Breaking the Silence—was designed for us, chosen women, for this appointed time to collectively begin healing. This space was prepared for me to chose life. It hit me that this was His plan of miracles, signs, and wonders. A miracle that I got here in one piece with breath inside my chest. A sign that I will be ok. Wonders that I get to be among my sisters for this moment in life.